none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
