I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
