I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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