then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
