I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
People in love make me want to vomit
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize