like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
