Already got asked if we're dating
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
