after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
