i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
