I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
