did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
