I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
