so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
