Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The uberlube is also flammable
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
