just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
