when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize