when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
