In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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