stop calling my apartment porn island.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
