I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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