What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
