she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
