The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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