Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
