break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
