You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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