so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
