The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
