her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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