Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
