were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
