Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
