How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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