Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
