i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
