Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
