I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
