Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
