omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize