I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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