He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
