epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
