are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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