I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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