SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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