oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm passing your future prison.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
