I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
