even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she told me i tasted like america
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
