a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
