she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
