How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i would punch a child for taco bell
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
