their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
