I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize