So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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