just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
