when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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