he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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