She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
