drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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