We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize