She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
